Pupils design their own theme park and write a pitch asking investors to fund it. This three-page Year 5 writing sheet takes them through planning, an editing task and a first paragraph. The editing task gives a short, weak paragraph that opens 'The rollercoasters is very fast' for pupils to rewrite. The tasks follow the England National Curriculum writing composition objectives. There is no answer key, so mark the rewrite against the errors in the original.
Writing - composition
“Identifying the audience for and purpose of the writing, selecting the appropriate form and using other similar writing as models for their own”
Question 1 asks pupils to name their audience and purpose before they write anything.
Writing - composition
“Noting and developing initial ideas, drawing on reading and research where necessary”
Question 2 asks for three first ideas for unique attractions.
Writing - composition
“Selecting appropriate grammar and vocabulary, understanding how such choices can change and enhance meaning”
The editing task asks pupils to swap words like nice and scary for more persuasive choices.
Writing - composition
“Using a wide range of devices to build cohesion within and across paragraphs”
The introduction must use at least one cohesive device, such as Furthermore or In addition to this.
Writing - composition
“Using further organisational and presentational devices to structure text and to guide the reader [for example, headings, bullet points, underlining]”
The introduction has to open with an eye-catching heading or title.
Writing - composition
“Proposing changes to vocabulary, grammar and punctuation to enhance effects and clarify meaning”
Editing for Impact is built around this, as pupils correct and improve a weak paragraph.
Writing - composition
“Ensuring the consistent and correct use of tense throughout a piece of writing”
The paragraph pairs 'Yesterday' with 'we go', so pupils have to fix the tense.
Writing - composition
“Ensuring correct subject and verb agreement when using singular and plural, distinguishing between the language of speech and writing and choosing the appropriate register”
Errors like 'The food are nice' target agreement, and the draft has to use a formal register.
Pupils name their audience and purpose, then note three ideas for new attractions.
Pupils rewrite a four-sentence paragraph about the Drop Tower, fixing subject-verb agreement and tense and upgrading dull words.
Pupils write an opening paragraph with a heading, a cohesive device such as Consequently, and a formal register for investors.
Start of a persuasion unit
Use section 1 to get ideas flowing before pupils read model adverts or pitches.
Editing starter
Put the Drop Tower paragraph on the board. Pairs spot the errors before anyone rewrites it.
Formal register lesson
Compare a chatty opening with a formal one, then let pupils draft section 3 for the investors.
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